One year ago...

One year ago today, I met my wife for the first time.

Me and my wife noticed recently that unlike many couples, we haven’t really posted too many boasts or compliments about each other since we got married.  I think it may just be due to the fact that my wife and I really don’t spend too much time on Facebook beyond checking in on our friends and family from time to time.  I think another big reason why we haven’t done such posts is that both of us do a pretty good job of privately complimenting each other and letting each other know that we love each other.  She will notice, if she reads this, that many of the things I have to say here I have already told her myself.  And although I know that perhaps it may be annoyingly predictable to some—they may feel that such sentimentality does not belong in the public sphere— I think that from time to time, letting our friends and family know how we feel about each other—publicly—is an important thing to do.

A year ago, I was attending BYU, and had moved out of my home to live with some awesome roommates in Provo.  I was, like my roommates and every other member of the LDS Church at this age and stage of life, invested in the idea of being successful in dating.  I was not necessarily angling or even hoping for marriage within a year.  If someone were to go back in time, to this day, one year ago, and tell me that I would be happily married by this time next year, I would have thought them optimistic to the point of being rude.  I frankly thought I wasn’t too good at dating, and although I felt reasonably confident in myself and what I could offer, I seriously doubted whether I would be married even in the next five years.  Dating seemed to me to be a long, frustrating game where no one could provide me an adequate rulebook.  I feel justified in sharing this, because I do feel that many people share this perspective on dating.  It’s confusing, it’s unfair, it’s ridiculous, but it’s necessary.

One year ago, I received a text from Ben, a good friend of mine, inviting me to a game night at the Westwood home in Highland.  At the moment I was bored and wondering to myself if I could organize a game night sometime during Thanksgiving Break, and so I was excited to relax and party with some familiar faces.

I saw Becca right as I came into the living room, where the games were going to be played.  Her brothers and sisters and Chad were there as well.  She was a Westwood that I had not met before—I knew about Julia and Kim, and a few of the others.  And I will always say, that as cliché as it sounds, Becca’s eyes really were the first things I noticed and liked about her.  That night the group played Quelf and Ticket to Ride, both games that I had brought.  Usually during Ticket to Ride, I get to go first before everyone else, because in the special Europe version of that game, the rulebook dictates that whoever has been in more European countries than everyone else gets to go first.  My mission experience usually guaranteed me the first turn, but this time Becca stopped me before I made my first move, as she explained that she had lived in Europe for some time and had visited many countries.  This sparked our first real conversation, as I curiously asked what she was doing there.  Unusually, I was more interested in my conversation that game with Becca than I was in winning—which, if anyone knows how I play games, was very unusual.

Chad suggested that we all go see the new Muppet Movie that was in theaters at the time.  We would go the day after Thanksgiving.  Becca seemed really excited to go, and so I also voted in favor for it.  I didn’t get her number that Wednesday night, but I made a mental note to myself to go for it the next opportunity I had, if one would present itself.

At the time, I thought little of our casual encounter.  I knew I wanted to date Becca and learn more about her if I could.

It is overwhelming to think that now, exactly one year later, she and I are married. 

I could not imagine life without her.  I have come to learn more about her.  She is the most consistent, the most honest, and the most dependable woman I know.  She has a preternatural patience that allows her to remain cheerful even in the face of sore trial.  Her family, as well as her new family from the Stone side, can attest to her love and concern for all the members of her family.  For Becca, family truly is the number one priority.  She really does put the interest of others above her own, and sometimes I have to remind her that she needs time for herself as well.

I cannot begin to describe all the good that she has done for me personally.  She has restored my confidence in the good in this world.  Although she did not plan or intend to do it, she helped me see that my plans for the future—becoming a prominent doctor, earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year—was not going to bring me the kind of happiness I was looking for.  Thanks to her good influence, I have changed my major, and am now studying to be a Social Studies teacher.  Although she has never sat me down for lessons, she has helped me understand that the joys of having a family—being with family, and serving one another in a family—that means more than all the international vacations that money could buy.  I don’t mean to say that I was against being a family man—but now I understand better what it means to be so.  She has restored my confidence in the fact that there is so much that is good in the world.

If I could wish one thing for everyone, it would be that they could find this kind of happiness that Becca and I share.  I know that for some people, dating, love and marriage can be really sensitive topics.  I do know though, that there is a God who cares about each of us, and knows what kind of story is going to make us the happiest that we can be.  He is in control, and He is aware of each of us.  He will withhold no blessing from those who obey all His commandments, and those blessings will come, in His own way and in His own time.  Experience has shown me at least, that although it may take some time, it can also easily happen in as little as a year.

I have tried to write what I feel, but I don’t know that I could ever fully express the deep and abiding sense of gratitude that I feel now.  I will always love and cherish my beautiful wife Becca.