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To be honest, I feel a little overwhelmed by my assignment
to speak today. I pray for the Spirit to
be here, and that I won’t get in the way of the message I hope the Holy Ghost
intends to share with you today.
In a number of other countries, there is also a
Children’s Day with its own festivities in addition to Mother’s Day and
Father’s Day. I recall asking someone
once why we don’t have Children’s Day in America . “It’s because every other day in the year is
already Children’s Day.” I believe my
mother may have told me that.
Although
there is some humor to that statement, I think that it is because there is much
truth to it. No one else in the world is
as uniquely equipped to bless the life of a child as are the sisters in the
church who know their roles in Heavenly Father’s plan. They recognize that along with their husbands
they have “a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to
provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and
serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens
wherever they live.” Fathers are called
upon to preside, provide and protect their families, whereas mothers “are
primarily responsible for the nurture of their children” (1). Fathers are the head of the home—but when I
think of everything my own mother has done for me, and what I have looked for
in selecting an eternal companion, the best way I can describe what motherhood
means to me is the calling to be the heart of the home--the center of love and tender affection that only a mother can give.
Being the
heart of the home—being the mother in a family—is not necessarily glamorous,
but it is glorious. President David O.
McKay taught us that “the noblest calling in the world is motherhood. True motherhood is the most beautiful of all
arts, the greatest of all professions.
She who can paint a masterpiece, or who can write a book that will
influence millions, deserves the admiration and plaudits of mankind; but she
who rears successfully a family of healthy, beautiful sons and daughters, whose
immortal souls will exert an influence throughout the ages long after paintings
have faded, and books and statues shall have been decayed or destroyed,
deserves the highest honor that man can give, and the choicest blessings of
God” (2).
Being a mother
in Zion with a
happy, healthy family that is strong in the Church is an ideal that is taught
and encouraged. I am grateful that this
ideal is so strongly emphasized in the Church, because I consider myself to be
a beneficiary of that emphasis. However,
life doesn’t always reflect the ideal.
Circumstances that arise due to the fallen nature of this world prevent
many sisters in the Church from realizing this ideal the way they would expect
or hope or pray for. Sometimes they feel
that their own imperfections too often get in the way of their divine duty, and
they beat themselves up unjustly as a result. A day like today may be very hard
on those who for whatever reason don’t feel like they are perfect or have
perfect circumstances. When I think of
these sisters, I think of what Elder Quentin L. Cook once said: “Our women are not incredible because they
have managed to avoid the difficulties of life—quite the opposite. They are incredible because of the way they
face the trials of life. Despite the
challenges and tests life has to offer—from
marriage or lack of marriage, children’s choices, poor health, lack of
opportunities, and many other problems—they remain remarkably strong and
immovable and true to the faith. Our
sisters throughout the Church consistently ‘succor the weak, lift up the hands
which hang down, and strengthen the feeble knees’” (3). To that
I would add that most often it is the most successful women in the Church that
worry the most about their imperfections.
Remember that Nephi, perhaps one of the most obedient prophets of all
time, called himself a “wretched man” (4).
I believe
that whether the trial is great or small—and in my opinion, it’s often it’s the
small trials that are often handled more poorly than the great ones—whether
it’s singlehood in the adult years or temper tantrums from the children, or
whether it’s death and disease or the daily drudgery of being a mother, or
whatever imperfections the sisters we love so much have—the solution to dealing
with all of them is the same. Faith in
Jesus Christ and trust in His love for everyone can help anyone find the peace in
whatever circumstances they face.
My mother has
had many opportunities in her life to learn about the patience required to find
this kind of peace. After me and my
sisters were born, she went back to college and finished her education in order
to become a teacher. Balancing all the
homework assignments, the projects, the papers, the seminars, the training
courses, the weekly team meetings, the parent-teacher-conferences, the lesson
plans, the test grading, and everything else associated with her job in
addition to all the responsibilities she has as a mother and a member in the
Church may sound complicated, but I have never felt ignored or abandoned by my
mother. Each of my sisters and I can say
with confidence that it does not matter what Mom is doing at the time—when we
need her, she is there. Even if it means
staying up a little later to get other things done, she will always make the
time for us.
I felt this
love especially on my mission in Slovakia . I often felt overwhelmed by my responsibility
to preach the gospel in a country that had only allowed the church in its
borders a little more than a year before I arrived. The emails that I would receive from my
mother were filled with support and counsel that buoyed me up. I read the following from one of her letters: “…I have been thinking of all the things have
to be grateful for. At the top of the
list is the gospel and my family. It is
easy to feel blessed when I think of these two things. I love you very much and continue to pray for
you and hope you can feel the support I am sending your way. Really, it didn’t take very long for you to
get to Europe and prayers are even
faster. Hopefully you can understand
what I mean…we think of you, and the work you have been called to do, often,
and we smile.” I did feel those prayers,
and I know that they made all the difference.
Before I
continue, I must also say that my mother is not perfect. She makes mistakes. But she is my Mom, and for me and my family,
she is as good as it gets. There are
many other qualities about my mother that help make our home a real temple,
where I can feel the Spirit and draw closer to God. When I returned from my mission, I tried to
find someone like my mother—someone who loves shelves and shelves chock full of
books for children to read, someone who deeply values education, someone whose
nature demands that they reach out to others and bless their lives. I wanted a Disney fan. Above all else, I wanted someone who was as
qualified as my mother to help raise my children to learn to love their Savior
and to always have faith in Him.
When I
first met Rebecca, I learned that she had traveled to places all over the world—Belgium ,
China , Mexico , Japan —and had taught English as a
second language to many people there. In
each country she learned to love her students as she served them. On our first date I discovered that she has a
hobby of collecting children’s books.
She has continued her education and is now in her master’s program in
teaching English as a second language.
And she is a big Disney fan.
Rebecca
also has given me permission to share the following. I also learned while dating her that she has
previously been married. The first year
of that marriage was healthy and happy and wholesome. But as time progressed, her husband began to
let go of vital gospel habits. Family
prayer, scripture study and family home evening, even the desire to begin to have
children became less of a priority to her husband. I will not go into the details, but
eventually her husband made other decisions that led him to ask for a
divorce. Rebecca tried to do everything
to salvage the marriage, but as time went on, it became clear that divorce was
the best alternative for both Rebecca and her husband.
At this
time in her life, unsure of what her future would be like, Rebecca Westwood
could have chosen to become bitter. She
could have concluded that God must not have loved her. She could have decided that going to church,
prayer, and all her other gospel habits in the end did not help her. She could have lost the fire of faith.
Rebecca did
not lose that faith, however—rather, it was strengthened. She humbly approached Heavenly Father in the
spirit of prayer and fasting. She drew
support from her gospel habits, and she was surrounded by loving family and
friends ready to love her and support her through this trial. Even though her “happy ending,” in a manner
of speaking, had been taken away from her, she found peace. A spirit of forgiveness prevailed over her in
the divorce process. In the end, she
said of this time that it was the best year of her life to date, and that she
had never felt so close to God now as at any other time in her life. Looking at
her circumstances, one could ask how she could have the gall to feel at
peace. Some would say that she had no
reason to feel at peace. But Rebecca
trusted her Heavenly Father, and He was all the reason she needed to feel at
peace. This is the strength of faith
that I had been looking for. I know
Rebecca will be an amazing mother because she is already an amazing daughter of
God. I am very fortunate.
These kind
of women—my mother, Rebecca, my grandmothers, and others like them—inspire the
rest of us to become better than we would be otherwise. President David O. McKay observed the same
effect from his fiancée while they were engaged. He wrote to her once:
“Do you
know that since I truly loved, I can better understand why the gallant knights of old always had a lady love to
fight for. The very thought of pleasing her would nerve their arms, steel
their swords, and make their courage dauntless.
Each one would try to
develop the best strength and activity that he could possibly reach that he might be more worthy
of the approbation of his lady. Nobility
of character, too, the best would
prize, that they might merit the companionship of those, who, they thought, possessed the truest and purest of
souls” (5).
I bear testimony that the mothers in my life--all the mothers in my life--have inspired me to do and be better. They are daughters of God. This Church is led by Jesus Christ, and He does watch over us all, and one of the best manifestations of His divinity and His compassion for us are our mothers. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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(1) The Family: A
Proclamation to the World, First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, 1995.
(3) 2011 April General Conference, LDS
Women are Incredible! Sat. Morning Session – Quentin L. Cook
(4) 2 Nephi 4:17, The Book of Mormon
(5) Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: David O.
McKay, Chapter 14: Preparing for an Eternal Marriage and Family
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